I did a double-take when I saw you. It always happens, just when I think I'll never hear from you again, there you are. Every time I'm ready to forget, you're ready to remember.
I was dumbstruck. I didn't know what to say. We're in two totally different worlds and you don't seem too crazy about mine. What could I say that wouldn't sound dumb and trivial? I said I was worried I sounded naive but you quickly assured me I didn't. I suppose if you were looking to talk to someone about your world you wouldn't have interrupted mine.
I'm sorry I didn't say more and at the same time I wish I had said less. I didn't know if I should attempt to be funny or serious, encouraging or in awe, newsy or inquisitive. Even if I had a second chance I don't know what I would do with it. Maybe if I had listened to you instead of worrying about myself I would have figured it out.
I hope I was okay company for a while. Truthfully, your interruption was welcomed and ironically timed. I guess I missed you.
Take care. Keep in touch.
5 comments:
Are you talking about math again? :)
Hmm, didn't think of it that way. I could be...it kind of fits in a few ways. I'm not trying to be evasive, this is just a much bigger conversation than this little comment box allows for.
Vince I miss our pillow talk ;)
Jill, thanks for the comment and the encouragement. I'm curious what sort of meaning the phrase "you never can tell with bees" might have for you. It's one that I've always loved since my mother first read me that story about Pooh years ago.
I also understand your fling with math, and your desire for a little fling. Teaching algebra I all day long leaves me longing for the coquetishness of an epsilon-delta proof or the curves of Cauchy-Riemmann analysis. But I never started teaching because of math - I did it because of kids like Fred (I've blogged about his acting skills, but I'm fairly new to blogger and am not sure how to make a link).
Anyway, this has gotten far too long to be a blog comment. I like the way you write - have a wonderful weekend.
- Michael
You're welcome, Michael. I realized afterwards though that you and I live in very different worlds. I grew up in a relatively wealthy neighbourhood that afforded me the luxury of being able to lose myself in a math lesson every day. I didn't have to try to pay attention to my teacher when I was really worried about all the things that come with growing up in the hood. You sound like a very caring person who goes above and beyond the duties of a teacher. I wish you well.
"You never can tell with bees" was a reference to a friend of mine who introduced me to the Winnie the Pooh stories this past summer. I was thinking of him as I wrote the post although it also applies to a few other relationships I have. I don't think he'll ever read this post, but I guess I just felt better putting it out there.
Maybe the phone calls get in the way, but I'm sure you're comforted knowing that people still care.
I kept wanting to stop blogging because I couldn't seem to say what I really wanted to. I've started saying a little more, but I also appreciate that I have people who get concerned when I haven't posted in a while and I can just talk to them.
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