The other day I said to Abby, “I miss math”. It was something I had been thinking about for a while actually. I don’t know why but I was having this craving to play with numbers. I haven’t really studied math since grade 12 and I haven’t learned any formulas since taking the obligatory science credit in first year university (oh yeah, and a bit in the required CreComm economics class, but that’s CreComm math, not very daunting). I have found that once you enter the creative arts field and are faced with a math problem you can pass it off to someone else with the phrase “I’m not a math person, how do you think I ended up here?” The thing is that there was a time when I was a “math person” but after years of neglecting that area of my brain there’s not much I remember. This piece came out of me exploring just what it was about math I missed, while realizing that the statement “I miss math” sounded like I was talking about a guy I once knew.
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I miss math. We grew quite close in high school after flirting a bit in junior high. Math taught me great things and took me places that changed my life. We had a falling out in second semester of grade 12 though. Typical high school relationship story. Math wanted more out of me. More time together, more commitment. Suddenly things were moving really fast and I just couldn’t put out what math wanted. I remember the long nights, the tears and finally the breakup. We got back together in first year university but couldn’t make it last. At the time we just wanted different things. I suppose I also had my eye on something new.
But now here I am thinking about math, how much I miss math’s logic and brilliance. Math was a great problem solver and helped me to become a stronger one. Just knowing math and being associated with math made me a different person. People look at you differently when you tell them you know math.
I have found myself calling on math in the last few days. Math had so many numbers I can’t remember them all. I don’t have any real reason to call on math except that I’ve had this weird nostalgia for the things we used to do together. I found myself today looking for any excuse, any small problem that I could call up math with.
I found my excuse in an email forward. One of those magic number games. I knew magic had nothing to do with it. Magic is always there trying to steal math’s work. So I parted my way through the words and deception and sure enough standing there behind it all was math. I’ll show you what math was wearing—looked so good today, simple but good.
(20000X+250+2Y-250)/2
I peeled off the layers and broke math down to reveal what I was looking for. The answer was perfect, the process beautiful. I loved the image so much in fact that I posted it on my monitor so I could steal glances at it throughout the day. I haven’t done math in so long I just want to enjoy the moment a bit.
I know writing is my forever true love. As much as I miss math and as much as I get excited working with math we’ll never be what writing and I are together. Math never woke me up in the middle of the night to talk. Math didn’t have much to say when I was going through something rough. Math could give me a likely outcome but it was writing who would walk me through all the different possibilities. It’s always been writing who I day dreamed about when I was looking for a distraction. And as crazy as it sounds, if I was stuck on a deserted island I’d choose writing over math to be the one I’d want with me, keeping me sane and brave.
Maybe I’ll try building things up with math again. Just as friends, for fun mostly. I won’t be afraid to ask math a question and eventually, as we become reacquainted, it won’t take as long to find the answer.
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I miss math. We grew quite close in high school after flirting a bit in junior high. Math taught me great things and took me places that changed my life. We had a falling out in second semester of grade 12 though. Typical high school relationship story. Math wanted more out of me. More time together, more commitment. Suddenly things were moving really fast and I just couldn’t put out what math wanted. I remember the long nights, the tears and finally the breakup. We got back together in first year university but couldn’t make it last. At the time we just wanted different things. I suppose I also had my eye on something new.
But now here I am thinking about math, how much I miss math’s logic and brilliance. Math was a great problem solver and helped me to become a stronger one. Just knowing math and being associated with math made me a different person. People look at you differently when you tell them you know math.
I have found myself calling on math in the last few days. Math had so many numbers I can’t remember them all. I don’t have any real reason to call on math except that I’ve had this weird nostalgia for the things we used to do together. I found myself today looking for any excuse, any small problem that I could call up math with.
I found my excuse in an email forward. One of those magic number games. I knew magic had nothing to do with it. Magic is always there trying to steal math’s work. So I parted my way through the words and deception and sure enough standing there behind it all was math. I’ll show you what math was wearing—looked so good today, simple but good.
(20000X+250+2Y-250)/2
I peeled off the layers and broke math down to reveal what I was looking for. The answer was perfect, the process beautiful. I loved the image so much in fact that I posted it on my monitor so I could steal glances at it throughout the day. I haven’t done math in so long I just want to enjoy the moment a bit.
I know writing is my forever true love. As much as I miss math and as much as I get excited working with math we’ll never be what writing and I are together. Math never woke me up in the middle of the night to talk. Math didn’t have much to say when I was going through something rough. Math could give me a likely outcome but it was writing who would walk me through all the different possibilities. It’s always been writing who I day dreamed about when I was looking for a distraction. And as crazy as it sounds, if I was stuck on a deserted island I’d choose writing over math to be the one I’d want with me, keeping me sane and brave.
Maybe I’ll try building things up with math again. Just as friends, for fun mostly. I won’t be afraid to ask math a question and eventually, as we become reacquainted, it won’t take as long to find the answer.
8 comments:
Yes.. math is beautiful!
You should start doing those sudoku things! They help me out when I'm on a math binge. And they're more addicting than crack.
Omg, this post was amazing!
Math is quite the whore... In high school, we slept together all the time and we were really close. Undergrad we were pretty much attached at the hip and I'd be grabbing at it any chance that I could get and I would even sneak a feel in dark classrooms. However, our long distance relationship ever since I moved out to Toronto has been difficult on us. We're still really good friends and we help each other out, but our relationship has stagnated. Our relationship hasn't been getting any deeper and we just seem to regress to the same topics all the time. I've just moved on to other things and I just don't see a future with Math aside from just remaining friends.
ahahahaha that's awesome. This sounds like a Miss Lonelyhearts problem.
I'm glad someone misses math... cause i don't!
*throws a chalk brush*
PARABOLA!!!
Vince--I always knew math was seeing other people! Probably made all the same promises to you too. Of course, that was always part of the appeal. I though math really liked you though.
Abby--Math must have really let you down. Math can be a jerk that way and make you feel dumb. But if you were able to move on past math and embrace completely your relationship with art, then good for you! Art is a keeper, and you know how I'd love to have a fling with art!
Parabola! Rob, that could be a love affair of it's own, but I think that may belong to Mr. Hatfield. Although you could say it with a little Spanish accent and then I'd say Parabola is definately your type.
parrrrrrrrrrabola ;)
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