(In) Security

I finished reading A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier this week. It is the true story of Ishmael Beah, a former child soldier in Sierra Leone. In May 1997 a group of rebels and soldiers called the Armed Forces Revolutionary Council overthrew the democratically elected government and chaos ensued in the country once again. Men, women and children were shot in the street en mass and at random. Stores were looted and homes were torched.

"How unpleasant." I shook my head and turned the page as I rode the bus to the office to take on another Wednesday morning in the land of green and gold.

Recently, a particular building that I frequent installed a new security system that requires one to swipe in upon arriving inside. The new system is inconvenient and finicky. Sometimes it works, and sometimes the required green arrow refuses to light up and let one pass without causing alarm. It is most bothersome when one is trying to swipe out and leave for the day. When my humour is in good supply I am amused that I must plead with a blinking beeping box to allow me to rejoin the outside world.

On Wednesday the University of Winnipeg essentially shut down because someone had scrawled a threatening note in a stall of a men's washroom. Police were posted around the campus and circulated the area on bikes. Profs canceled classes and students were told they had the option to stay home for the day. Those who did show up were subject to bag searches. Nothing happened and ironically, it was probably the safest day to be at the institution.

On the same day a student at a north end high school was stabbed on school grounds by a former student. The news report says the two allegedly got into a fight over a girl. Bloodshed over a girl, really, what is the world coming to?

I fought again with Blinky Beepy today. I would get the beepy but not the blinky. One of these days I'm going to rebel. I'm going to come tearing down the escalators and continue my stride right on past Blinky Beepy and not look back. Yeah! Liberate the people! Down with Big Brother!

Myanmar Troops Kill 9 More Protesters
21 hours ago
YANGON, Myanmar (AP) — Soldiers with automatic rifles fired into crowds of anti-government demonstrators Thursday, killing at least nine people in the bloodiest day in more than a month of protests demanding an end to military rule.

How unpleasant.

Airin' Out

Do you ever try to remember the first time you met someone? It's funny sometimes when I think back and try to recall the pattern of encounters and events that led up to an important friendship. I try to remember the point just before we were friends and it just doesn't seem like it exists. Sure, they weren't always in my life, but it feels like we've been friends since the moment we met.

A little over a year ago, Erin Girouard started working in the Communication Services department of Good Wooden Leg (I'm using your full name Erin so that when potential employers Google you [or dates maybe?] they can see this favourable character reference). I don't really remember the whos and the hows, but Erin ended up eating lunch with Joanna and I. Lucky her. I remember Jo and I spent most of the hour rolling our eyes and complaining about guys and dating. Either poor Erin figured she had no other option or she saw past our cranky dispositions and mindless conversation because she continued to make the Jill and Joanna show a regular part of her day.

Tomorrow is Erin's last day with Good Wooden Leg. She was hired on term, extended once and now it is hard to believe her time with us is up. I can't help but thinking of how I was in her situation two years ago. She has a gained a solid year of experience for her resume and a crew of people who will happily attest to her excellent work ethic. Erin will do just fine.

Today was our last lunch together in the caf'. Erin and I had been joking for the last few days that it felt like the season finale of a TV show, complete with the sad parting of a well-loved character. Erin told me I had to wrap up all my stories for her today so I updated her on some boy story plot lines that had been playing out over the past year. I completely forgot that last year at this time I was also apartment hunting and toying with the idea of quitting blogging. I think Erin would be happy with my character development.

Erin was never much of one to gab, but she always listened intently and lent her caring support. Sometimes I wish I could be more quiet like her. I used to feel bad when I couldn't think of something to say during a long moment of silence. Now I think I will proudly call it Taking an Erin Moment. There is honour in not talking endlessly about oneself and there is a value to just being a friendly face that keeps someone company for a while.

Life moves on

I don't like leaving my blog on a sad note for long. It seems that the story isn't quite over, but I'm not entirely sure where it's going now. I'll say more when I know.

Today is my last official day of vacation. As of 3:30 pm today it's just another weekend. I really enjoyed my time off this week. I knew I needed a break, but after enjoying it so much, I'm almost afraid to go back. In a little less than two months I will reach my two year anniversary with Good Wooden Leg. It's time I start really thinking about what I want to get out of my time there. I have some dreams for the job, but I know there will be some resistance to overcome too if I suggest any kind of change.

This week I had hoped to spend time planning/plotting, reading, writing, sewing, and printing pictures. Well, I did the sewing part. Maybe today I'll cram in the rest.

I learned this week that I actually enjoy preparing a meal for a guest. I'm not great at the timing yet, but I think that will come.

I learned that I think I'd rather have a dog than a man for company. I had Elmo over for a sleepover on Wednesday. The soft sound of his snoring is so very comforting when the house feels a little lonely.

I learned that I don't hate washing dishes. What do people with dishwashers do with that extra time? When do they find the time to stand and stare out their kitchen window while listening to the MuchMusic Top 30 Countdown?

I learned that owning this house is not going to be easy, but it's worth it. Whatever I have to give up because of it (except for Truck, I'd work in retail again before I'd say goodbye to Truck) is worth it.

I've read books like this before, but how would the story end in real life?

After three weeks of being left hanging wondering what happened to my Facebook Flirt, he suddenly came back. His computer had crashed. Even after all that time though, he was still head over heels for me.

We were chatting this week and talked again about meeting up. I warned him that I'd probably be shy. He said that was okay, he'd be shy too. I couldn't believe that at all, coming from the guy who randomly contacted me and had no problem telling the world of Facebook that I was something special.

His affection was almost intimidating. Nobody had ever honoured me with such sweetness before. I kept wondering if he was for real and I worried about meeting and the magic all suddenly ending.

Tonight he was talking about some big houses he toured in the Parade of Homes. He dreamed of one day owning one. He asked me where my house was and so I told him. The tone of the conversation changed. He said he was no longer sure. He told me the neighbourhood he lives in and it's not exactly a place I'd want to park Truck in for any length of time. He said:

i'm thinking i have to get a lot more done before dating ,meeting ,going out with someone like you who is way ahead of me

And I honestly started to cry. How many times have I felt not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, for someone yet so proud of my independence? And now, here I was, finally enough for someone, but maybe too much.

So I tried to tell him that money, houses, cars, didn't matter to me. He is full of drive and ambition which is so admirable. He has more heart than any of the last smattering of guys I've met. I said all these things, but were they true?

He asked if this changed things. I said I didn't know. I said I still wanted to meet him at least once. Because yes, I want to give the guy a chance, like I give anyone. If there's one thing I've learned in love it's that you have to take things one day at a time. But really, could it work? Could he really feel happy with me when I pull up in my shiny Truck and go home to my safe house in the suburbs? I don't want to kill his pride and I don't want to feel apologetic for everything I've accomplished.

The conversation ended flatly. I said I had to go to bed but really I ended up here, blogging. My head hurts and I'm tired. I have so many thoughts in my head. This entry is a mess and is probably missing chunks of detail. I can't type anymore. I know, I'm being dramatic again.

If a picture is worth a thousand words, how much does that pay exactly?

The other day I received an out of the blue message from a random guy who dropped by my blog. "You're certainly a good writer, unlike myself," he said. It's not the first time someone has expressed that they think I have some talent, but the reminder was well timed in a way.

Lately I've been wishing that I had some other skill that I could put to work earning a little extra cash by way of freelancing. I have friends who can build websites and others who do design work, but what do I have to offer? Dog walker? Personal Shopper? Shoulder to Cry On?

I'd like to try some freelance writing but it's hard to get into. It seems you have to just happen upon someone who needs something and is willing to pay you for it. I wish I could just click my favourite pair of red shoes together and magically I would become the Carrie Bradshaw of Winnipeg. A weekly column in the paper--wouldn't that be a dream? Oh, well, and the shoes and dates with Big and Aidan would be a sweet bonus too.

You may remember my friend Duane Storey in Vancouver. Duane recently found a way to make a little extra cash for doing something he loves--photography. Duane has posted a collection of his favourite photos online and made them available for purchase in a variety of sizes. Most of the pictures up right now are shots of Vancouver but he also has a few from recent trips to the Dominican Republic and San Francisco. The photos start at $12.99 for an 8" x 12". You can also buy the rights to a photo to use it on your site or in a publication.

Hmm. If Duane only has to take one picture but I have to write 1000 words to get $13, I think he gets the better deal. Granted, I can buy a pack of pencils and some paper for a few dollars while the equivalent of his equipment costs could feed a small village in Africa for a few days.

Please check out his site here and join me in wishing him success with his new endeavor.