The last chapter, I promise

No more pity dates. I trust myself now. My intuition is pretty good. I should start listening to it. The tarot card lady told me that, but who needs a so-called spirit guide to tell you that only you truly know yourself best.

I met Daniel last week. He took the bus down to my neighbourhood to meet me at the coffee place a few blocks from my house. I drove because it was freakin' cold out.

I talked to him on the Monday and by Wednesday I was certain I had made a mistake. On Friday I picked up Elmo because my mom asked me to look after him for a night. My throat was a little sore and scratchy. Even Fate seemed to want me to back out. But I don't give up on anything that easily.

We met. I helped him pick out a latte. I had the chai tea which I stirred nervously to try to bring down the foam.

The conversation was awkward, a step or two above painful, if I may be dramatic. He kept looking everywhere but at me as he talked about his job and the sports teams he likes. He told me he liked my hair. It was shiny and soft looking and it suited me. There is a stat that says guys are more attracted to blondes. There's also one about guys preferring long hair.

After we finished our drinks he asked me, at least twice if I wanted another one. I politely declined both times. I mentioned Elmo, that I had to get home to see him. He seemed to understand.

Outside, I said it was good we finally met. I even said, "see you later" as if there would be some kind of follow-up. He barely said anything before hurrying across the street.

It was over. I survived. I went home and Elmo greeted me with his little paws on my legs. A happy ending.

On Saturday night I went to Rob's. He was having a few people over just because. We ended up playing Balderdash. I kick ass at Balderdash, except not as much as Rob did that night. It was a real good time.

When I got home I had a message on Facebook from Daniel. Apparently he had a really good time on Friday and would like to see me again. I smacked my hand to my forehead. I let the message sit for another day and then I wrote back. I could have ignored him, I could have "given him another chance". Instead, I told him straight up that while he seemed like a very nice guy, I just didn't feel we had enough in common to be any kind of match. It took him a while to agree, but he did eventually.

I felt much better. I tend to feel best without any prospects. I think I may have a slight fear of succeeding in the romance department. I want what I cannot have and I sabotage what I can have because I feel smothered and scared. It's not you, it's me. But I think I'll figure it out, eventually.

Terrible twos

Two-day marked my two-year anniversary at Good Wooden Leg. The last time I spent two years at a place I was working with Hot Lips and Jelly Bellies.

I wasn't sure if anyone was going to remember my anniversary. It's not out of the ordinary for my team to recognize dates like this but my boss seemed pretty busy this week to remember. But in the end, she came through and we celebrated with cookies.

Work has been super busy lately, but things are going pretty well. I may just stick around for a little while longer.

The power of one

This morning I got in to work, sat down, waited and listened. Every few minutes I'd hear the tearing open of an envelope and the dropping of a coin. And then silence. Today, everyone in Communication Services at Good Wooden Leg was the recipient of one loonie and a letter explaining how they could use that loonie to take a small action but make a big change. It's World Kindness Week and so once again I wanted to honour it in a secret mission way.

Amara was the first to knock on my cube.

"Were you responsible for some random kindness this morning?" she asked.

I smiled and worded my response carefully. "I can honestly say no, I was not responsible for random kindness this morning."

Truthfully, I had help, and truthfully, I was not the one in charge of distributing the unmarked envelopes.

There was not the same fanfare as there was last year with the cupcakes. I'm not really sure what people thought of the idea this time. A few approached me and returned their coins, asking me to make a donation to a charity for them. Amara promised me she would do her best to find a way to put the loonie to good use. In the end, it doesn't really matter what people decide to do with the extra buck--buy a coffee for themselves, buy one for a friend, flip it to a guy on the street, or save it for emergency bus fare--the point was that we always wish we had more so we could do more, but there is so much you can do even with just a dollar. I forgot my list at work, so I'll try to list from memory some ideas we came up with:

• Buy a song on iTunes for yourself or a friend
• Find a cause. Make a poster. Photocopy it 10 times. Post.
• Buy a reusable shopping bag. Keep plastic bags out of the landfills.
• Call two friends (pay phones in MB cost $.50 per local call)
• Build a school with Jackie Chan for a dollar

My heart shaped box

Hurricane winds today blew my recycling box away. Not the garbage can, which I can never fill, but the blue box. And now I am blue too.

In good company

My mom was telling me about this commercial she saw where a delusional young lady is serving a romantic dinner to a cardboard cut-out of race car driver Kasey Kahne. She said it made her laugh because it made her think of me. Thanks mom.



She was thinking of me because I have a life size cardboard cut-out of NASCAR driver Jeff Gordon in my living room. He keeps me company. I sometimes move him in front of the window so it won't look like I'm home alone. At Christmas time he wears a Santa hat. Currently he is sporting a watch of mine and a plastic lei. I should switch it for a scarf. There's a funny story to go with Jeff (naturally). But I'm going to save it for a few weeks.

On an unrelated note, I had a really good day today. I think at one point I was actually glowing. And while it feels very good to have a good day, nothing beats knowing you've made someone else's day a little happier.

This guy also makes me happy

Welcome to my fun house ;)

There's a Genie in my wine bottle

Note: If you haven't read the previous post, for full effect you should read it first. But if you like the post-modern type of story then go ahead and read this one now.

I sat down. How did he get my number? Oh right, Facebook. He had sent me a message earlier saying maybe we could meet for coffee after all and left his number. He said he didn't get to check if I had responded. He had me. He had me on the phone in front of a B movie with a glass of red wine. I couldn't lie, I couldn't even manage an evasive and diplomatic response other than, "yeah, I got your message". Never mind that he made me cry. Never mind that up until a few days ago he was "in a relationship" with the girl he picked over me two months ago.

He asked if I was still interested in meeting. I said yeah, sure. I was thinking of saying "yeah sure" at some point, I just wasn't planning on saying it that night.

Somehow he or I changed the subject and we got to talking about watching the football game on TV. At this point I also messaged Vince with an "OMG". I was so focused on telling Vince about what was going on though that I kind of spaced out on the phone conversation. I remember telling FbF that I was at the game last night and that it was really cold.

"Yeah, I know, I read your status thing," he said. Oh right. I had mentioned something about the game on FB. He's been paying that much attention?

Honestly, most of the conversation was a blur. I remember telling him something like I wasn't sure when we could meet or that I was busy. I was wracking my brain for an excuse or logical argument for saying no but came up with nothing. So he said we could talk more online and set something up. Before I knew it, the conversation was over.

I gave Vince the details of the call and then decided I couldn't sit at home anymore. I texted Lisa.

Are you doing anything? I am bored and FbF just called. Need distraction. Call if available. :)

She called.

Which one is FbF again?

I gave her the story and asked if she wanted to meet at Starbucks. We ended up at Second Cup because Starbucks was too busy. Who knew the hot place to be on a Saturday night was the Osborne Village Starbucks?

I wasn't planning on talking about him anymore. I wanted to not think about him, but the conversation naturally went to the breaking news that brought us together that night anyway. We agreed that I could meet him just once at least and see. No harm in meeting anyway. After finishing our lattes we headed back to Lisa's where I introduced her to Facebook. There's a guy on there she worked with and would like to get in touch with again. I hope it happens for her. She found a few old friends right away and even got a wall message. Apparently Facebook is also the place to be on a Saturday night. Look at the fun it can get you.

I was at home again on Monday night. I thought I had a Red Shoe House meeting but I didn't. So I was watching The Hour (with my boyfriend, George Stromboulopoulos) and sipping that red wine again. I messaged Vince.

me: okay, I'm home alone, watching TV, drinking the same red wine. Where's my surprise phone call? Come on! Hit me Fate.

The phone rang.

I laughed, thinking it was Vince trying to be funny.

It was my sister. We're good again. She's coming over to watch The Hills. I can't ask for more.

The phone rings

On Saturday night I was sitting on my couch with Mac on my lap, a glass of red wine beside me, and the TV tuned in to Never Been Kissed on the Women's Network. After assessing the situation I messaged Vince.

me: It's Saturday night.

I'm drinking a very good red wine, but home alone, watching a girly movie.

On the Women's network.

6:38 PM Vincent: what movie?

me: Never Been Kissed.

Vincent: ah, that's a pretty good movie

what wine?

6:39 PM me: Something someone gave me for moving in. Wyndham Estates Bin 555. Red. Very good. Big glass :)

6:40 PM this is me being independent, mature homeowner, not sad single girl, right? :P

6:41 PM Vincent: as long as this isn't every night for you :p

Once the movie ended I contemplated another glass of wine. I flipped the channels and settled on Weekend at Bernie's II. Mature homeowner indeed. No, this isn't sad at all.

Shortly after 8pm my phone rang. It was ringing the other tone to let me know that the call was restricted--I'm not really sure what that means, but I figured it was my sister calling from the hospital as that's the only other time I've heard that ring before. Weird that she'd be calling though because we had a fight last weekend and we haven't spoken since. Mind you, we haven't seen each other since then either. I answered it.

Hello?

Hey, Jill?

Yeah.

Hey, how's it going?

Okay.

Do you know who this is?

No.

It's Facebook Flirt*, from the Internet.

*No he didn't actually refer to himself as Facebook Flirt, but I prefer to keep him a little anonymous.