eh baby, what's your sign? The eHarmony Experiement Diaries

It feels like it is time for another epic jillstory. I thought I'd save this one for May, when I'd have a conclusion for you, but it seems to have reached an interesting mid-point, so I'm going to share what I've got so far.

In February I decided to sample eHarmony on the Free Communication Long Weekend. I love the Lee and Ann Marie commercial. Come on, even their names sound cute together. Maybe there is a Will out there for me?

With eHarmony (eH) you don't browse the whole pool of single guys, they send you matches, supposedly based on your mutual compatibility. During the free weekends you can open up a profile, fill out the questionnaire, and receive and communicate with as many matches as you please. The catch is that when you're just a sampler you don't get to see the photos of your matches.

This is true blind dating. I decided it would also be an interesting experiment in seeing what attracted me when I didn't have a photo to look at. My first batch of matches included architects, marketing professionals, teachers, doctors and engineers, oh my! These weren't just men, they were professionals. I like very much.

eH uses a guided communication process. You start by trading five multiple choice questions that you select from a provided list. The questions ask about your idea of a romantic night out, your preference for the type of place to eat out, and how busy of a schedule you can accept from your partner. The next stage is the short answer questions. You can select three questions from the list or write your own. After you both respond to those you trade your lists of Must Haves and Can't Stands--10 qualities you have selected from an eH provided list. If this goes fine you then get to move to the final stage which is Open Communication, where you can trade emails through the website. I know, what an ordeal, right? I had a lot of matches I was at various stages with. It was getting hard to keep track of them all so I put them into a spreadsheet, listing their names, age, occupation, notes on things I was attracted to and things I was not attracted to in their profile, and communication stage. Yes, I am an organized dater. By the end of the free weekend I had reached the final stage with a couple of matches.

My first date request came on the Friday from D, a 29 year old chef.

He said,  "Rather than spend time trading emails back and forth I prefer to meet up and see if this online chemistry exists in person as well."

Normally this would be my philosophy on things too, but I had an uneasy feeling about him. Also, he sent me his Hotmail address with his full name so I did what any sensible person would do--I Googled him to see if I could find a photo. All I knew about him physically was that he was about a foot taller than me. I found a Facebook profile which did not ease my mind at all. He looked, well, scary. If I was casting someone for the roll of the bad guy on a motorcycle who has been emotionally damaged beyond repair, I'd pick him. I was bothered by the fact that I was judging him this way, but this feeling in my gut would not go away. I did not answer him right away.

On V-Day you may recall that I got together with Lisa and some other girls for dinner. I shared with them the profiles of the guys I was talking to. They too felt there was something just a bit off with D the chef, based on his emails and profile. Lisa however gave her Best Friend vote for K, a 35-year-old middle school teacher who liked travelling, canoeing, the outdoors, and played the guitar. When I read his profile she said, "You have to talk to him, he sounds perfect for you!" I was waiting on his reply to my last round of questions at that point.

The free communication weekend ended at midnight after the holiday Monday. I had found a coupon though to sign up for a three-month membership for only $60. This sounded like a reasonable price for an experiment. I was excited about the matches I had received over the weekend and more than curious to see who I was actually talking to. I decided to go for it. My mission would be to keep an open mind and just do it for the experience. I wanted to learn about dating, the people out there and what worked for me. If I happened to find a real, true match in there, even better. It's now been almost two months of e-meeting and dates. What a journey.