Colbie Cailat, Bubbly
It starts in my toes
and I crinkle my nose
where ever it goes I always know
that you make me smile
And sometimes when I think about it, I feel like my head is swimming and I need to just slow down and focus on one thing at a time, one day at a time. While the dream seems in reach, I must remember to keep things in perspective and keep my feet on the ground.
Yes, it does feel a lot like love. But this isn't a boy story.
I told you a few posts back that I had some big plans for myself that would occupy my time. I'm exploring the idea of taking some more schooling. I got a pamphlet in the mail a few weeks ago for the University of Winnipeg Division of Continuing Education. I'm a U of W alumni and I took my french classes a few years ago through the Continuing Ed school. For the fall I'm looking at taking a creative writing class. It will be one night a week for 12 weeks. I'm hoping it will force me to put aside some time to work on my writing and actually produce a complete piece that I can send to get published in a magazine. It's a baby step, but it's a step.
When I went online to investigate a bit further I found two other programs that got my head in the clouds. The first one I looked at is for a Marketing Management diploma. I'd have to attend evening classes twice a week each term for about a year and a half to complete it. It would be intense but hopefully it would get me what I need to get my foot in the door for more marketing based jobs. I got pretty excited looking at the course list but then I stumbled upon the second program that really captured my heart--New Media Marketing diploma. It looks at social networking, blogging, podcasting, pay-per-click advertising, web design, search engine marketing--need I go on? I mean, the marketing management program looked good, but this, this looked like Matthew McConaueghey hot. The catch? The sexier program is a one-year full time program, meaning I'd have to quit my life as I know it to become a student again for 12 months.
I told my mom that I was selling my house and moving back home so I could go to school.
"Absolutely not," Dad said.
"Well, Dad will be retired next year so hopefully we wouldn't be home much," Mom said. She has this magical way of making anything sound possible.
I talked to Lisa about it all too.
"You could sell your truck," she suggested.
I clutched my hands to my heart and shook my head. "No! I most certainly could not!" Sell my house? Sure. Roommate? No, I am pretty sure no one could live with me. Sell Truck? No, absolutely not. I know most people would look at it and just see a large gas sucking piece of orange metal. But no, that Truck is my first born. My first love. It will take me further than any diploma will. No, Truck stays with me. Besides, I probably could only get 10 or 15 grand for it, helpful, but certainly not enough to live off of for a year with a mortgage and tuition.
"I think if you want to do it badly enough you'll make it happen," Lisa said. I believe in that too. Still, the idea seemed exciting but it was also really surprising me. I didn't really think I'd go back to school for a whole program, and certainly not full time. I couldn't help but think, is this really me we're talking about here?
I did some more looking into the program and found my heart sinking a bit when I found out that the tuition was $15,000 (I'm still not selling Truck). Fifteen grand is a lotta money for me, and a lot more money than I was anticipating when the dream seemed in reach. But I still believe in what Lisa said, if I really want it, I'll make it happen, I'll find a way. I told Michael about my school dreams today. He said I just need to find a Sugar Daddy. I've only been working for him for six months and already he can read my mind. I'm going to miss him.
I have about seven months left working with Michael. I know I want to move on to something else rather than going back to my old job, but there is no telling when I will find that something, and if I do find something, will I still feel like I need to do school right now? This is what makes my head feel like it is treading water. But it's exciting. I feel really really excited about it all. This is the kind of change I can embrace and celebrate. Even if it does mean some sacrifices.
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