Choose your own adventure

On Friday after work a group of us headed to Carlos and Murphy's for drinks and food. It was a great time. I laughed a lot. We talked about books, jobs, run ins with celebrities. Nigel accused me of having a sex change. I think that's the weirdest thing anyone's ever said to me.

I honestly don't remember how it came up, but Kathleen, who I went to college with, said to me, "You should contact Duane!"

"Duane?"

"Yeah, Duane W. He's in Vancouver now." She was referring to a guy in our class but it was so weird that she brought him up. I remember that I didn't realize how interesting of a guy he was until near the end of school. He seemed like a sweet guy and a very talented videographer. I have a picture of us from grad night. We even matched.

"What made you bring him up?" I asked Kathleen.

"I don't know, " she said. "I just think you guys would look cute together."

I think he has a girlfriend and make a mental note to confirm via Facebook.

"That's funny, Vancouver just seems to keep calling my name," I said. It has been, really, for about five years now. It's weird that way. As I was reflecting on this, the whole table jumped onto a "Move Jill to Vancouver" bandwagon. Apparently there's someone out there that a few of the people at the table know and they think with a well-written email I could get myself a job pretty easily. I am wary of things that seem easy.

There is a part of me that secretly wishes I could just pick up and move away for a while. I mean, what have I done with my life so far? Went to school, got a job and bought a house. I know for some people that's a pretty big deal. But I like to think I'm capable of a little more. Look at the company I keep: Lisa spent a year touring Canada with a praise and worship band and is now working on her master's degree. Vince moved away to Toronto to go to school, get his PhD and has interned with Google and Microsoft. Adam went to Africa and now is going to study Journalism in New York. I need an adventure. I need a cliff to jump off of (figuratively, well, at least for now). It's the perfect time for me to do this. I have my house and my family here, but that's about it keeping me. Next year I'll be looking for another job anyway.

On Saturday I was telling my mom about all this.

"There's a part of me that would really like to move away. Even just for a year," I said. "The only thing keeping me here is my family and my house."

"Well Jill, you know, family is kind of portable. With so many ways to stay in touch now it's a lot easier. And besides, dad will be retired next year. We'd take the motor home out there and visit you." She was sounding excited for me about this idea.

"I guess I could look into renting my house out." For some reason the idea of saying goodbye completely to my house bothers me. I guess it's because it's the last thing I really worked hard to get. Letting it go so easily just doesn't feel right.

I looked over at Elmo, sleeping on the floor. Oh how I love that dog.

"Well when I move to Vancouver, I will definitely need to get a dog," I said.

When I move to Vancouver. I was trying out the sound of those words, like a pair of shoes I really wanted but wasn't sure I could afford. But I deserve something like this. I'm worth the chance, worth the adventure, worth the risk and the sacrifice. And hey, new girls in town are always a hit with the guys. Especially cute, prairie girl blondes.

Later, I was out with Lisa for post-birthday celebrations. Over dessert and slushy, boozy drinks I told her about my Vancouver idea.

"I'd miss you," she said.

I was surprised, as we talked more I didn't get the impression that she thought this was a good idea. Maybe she didn't think I was doing it for the right reasons. Sure, maybe some of my reasons aren't exactly right ones, but there are at least some good ones. Earlier in the week she said to me that she's realizing, after running her very first half marathon, that people are capable of doing much more than they probably think they can.

"We put a lot of limitations on ourselves," she said again to me on Saturday night.

The thing is, moving away from the home I've known my whole life does scare the pants off me, but that kind of seems like a good reason to do it. In the last several months I've been trying to do things that either scare me, or that I haven't done because I didn't think I could do them alone, or that people didn't believe I could do. The last one really puts fire in my belly to do something. I have this idea in my head that people underestimate me. Every time I get that feeling from someone I just want to give them a cool stare and say those famous words, "watch me." One of these days I hope I grow out of this phase of feeling that I need to prove myself. Then again, it sure does earn me some interesting experiences.

I have a few months yet before I really need to think seriously about what I want to do with myself next year. For now, this idea is just one of several that I will keep in the back of my head. They say that life happens when you're busy making other plans. Let's see how that theory works.