The Big picture

I messaged NYF (New York Friend) last night to tell him I bought a case of beer. NYF enjoys beer and knows that I mostly do not.

"I ran a marathon this Sunday," he replied.

I then told him about my canoe.

Me: The mighty green vessel I purchased is a bit heavy for me. I am in search of a strong young fellow to help me carry it and then navigate it and then beach it some where and then navigate me. :)

NYF: I'm sure if such a man walked by your house and saw a canoe and a girl drinking a beer, he'd go gaga.

Sometimes NYF does know what a girl likes to hear.

Me: How's the city doing? Is your apartment a sweaty place in the warmer weather?

NYF: not yet. still very nice. Hey, I found out I can skate to school this winter in Ottawa.

Me: You are going to school in Ottawa? I though you were staying in New York? But yes, super cool.

NYF: Oh, have I not mentioned? Yeah, Masters of Journalism at Carleton for 2 years.

Me: Hm. I knew about the Masters of Journalism but I thought you were doing that in NY. How did I get that mixed up? I will have to edit my blog. I mentioned you the other day so as to paint the picture of the fabulous company I keep.

NYF: I'll have to start reading it!

We chatted some more about life, love, politics and puns. Then NYF said, "I'm reading up on "NYF" now :)"

I sat up with a jolt and tried to think back to what exactly I wrote about NYF five months ago when I was visiting him in New York. I had written those posts figuring there was maybe a 5% chance he'd ever read them. Until now, NYF has not followed my blog, or, at least not with any kind of regularity since we first met in 2006. I always write with consideration of who my potential audience is. NYF was not part of that consideration.

He started quoting me.

NYF: "I imagine when he and the future Mrs. NYF get engaged, they will be riding elephants across the Serengeti or something and he will present her with an earth- and socially-friendly bamboo ring." That sounds so awesome :)

me: Just remember, I called it.

Then he quoted the part where I described our goodbye:

"Nope, just all the warmth and sentimentality of a border security guard, like he was reciting from a book titled Common Polite English Expressions to Use with People You Don't Really Like."

NYF: Sorry, I wasn't exactly going for that vibe.

I am reminded now of that episode of Sex and the City where Carrie meets up with Big in California. Carrie is there to do a book signing and reading. Big is living in California. She meets with him hoping for a night of no strings sex but Big is distracted. He has read her book which mentions him and he is suddenly aware of what a Big Ass he was to her.

He says, "I had no idea that l hurt you so much. It was tough to see it in print."

Part of me wants to say this scene is every scorned girl's dream. How often do you get to have someone who has put a spike in your heart join your audience as a mature, open-minded adult and actually nod along with your description of them? See things from your point of view instead of getting defensive? Admit to that moment of realization that they really were an insensitive, selfish, mind-game playing jerk? But finding myself in a distantly (very distantly) similar situation, I just wanted to do exactly as Carrie did, brush it off as old history, me being a dramatic girl caught up in a moment. Or at the very least, just good story-telling.

After reading a bit further, NYF wrote: You're very honest, so it's a neat way to learn about myself.

I nearly fell off my chair.

I have given up trying to figure out why NYF and I are friends. We have nothing in common. Nothing really significant anyway. Sometimes he really is an insensitive jerk. Sometimes I'm a, well, I'm just going to say sometimes I am such a girl. That, and for some reason I get very punny with him. I am not punny around anyone else. He just brings that bizarre talent out in me. The beautiful thing (and the part that I keep forgetting) is that NYF and I seem to have no fear in just being ourselves with each other. I don't have to be afraid to show him my warts or say the wrong thing. He chooses to be my friend anyway. When I can find that, plus romance in the same package, I will be on the road to love.

You still there, NYF? ;)