The last chapter, I promise

No more pity dates. I trust myself now. My intuition is pretty good. I should start listening to it. The tarot card lady told me that, but who needs a so-called spirit guide to tell you that only you truly know yourself best.

I met Daniel last week. He took the bus down to my neighbourhood to meet me at the coffee place a few blocks from my house. I drove because it was freakin' cold out.

I talked to him on the Monday and by Wednesday I was certain I had made a mistake. On Friday I picked up Elmo because my mom asked me to look after him for a night. My throat was a little sore and scratchy. Even Fate seemed to want me to back out. But I don't give up on anything that easily.

We met. I helped him pick out a latte. I had the chai tea which I stirred nervously to try to bring down the foam.

The conversation was awkward, a step or two above painful, if I may be dramatic. He kept looking everywhere but at me as he talked about his job and the sports teams he likes. He told me he liked my hair. It was shiny and soft looking and it suited me. There is a stat that says guys are more attracted to blondes. There's also one about guys preferring long hair.

After we finished our drinks he asked me, at least twice if I wanted another one. I politely declined both times. I mentioned Elmo, that I had to get home to see him. He seemed to understand.

Outside, I said it was good we finally met. I even said, "see you later" as if there would be some kind of follow-up. He barely said anything before hurrying across the street.

It was over. I survived. I went home and Elmo greeted me with his little paws on my legs. A happy ending.

On Saturday night I went to Rob's. He was having a few people over just because. We ended up playing Balderdash. I kick ass at Balderdash, except not as much as Rob did that night. It was a real good time.

When I got home I had a message on Facebook from Daniel. Apparently he had a really good time on Friday and would like to see me again. I smacked my hand to my forehead. I let the message sit for another day and then I wrote back. I could have ignored him, I could have "given him another chance". Instead, I told him straight up that while he seemed like a very nice guy, I just didn't feel we had enough in common to be any kind of match. It took him a while to agree, but he did eventually.

I felt much better. I tend to feel best without any prospects. I think I may have a slight fear of succeeding in the romance department. I want what I cannot have and I sabotage what I can have because I feel smothered and scared. It's not you, it's me. But I think I'll figure it out, eventually.

Terrible twos

Two-day marked my two-year anniversary at Good Wooden Leg. The last time I spent two years at a place I was working with Hot Lips and Jelly Bellies.

I wasn't sure if anyone was going to remember my anniversary. It's not out of the ordinary for my team to recognize dates like this but my boss seemed pretty busy this week to remember. But in the end, she came through and we celebrated with cookies.

Work has been super busy lately, but things are going pretty well. I may just stick around for a little while longer.

The power of one

This morning I got in to work, sat down, waited and listened. Every few minutes I'd hear the tearing open of an envelope and the dropping of a coin. And then silence. Today, everyone in Communication Services at Good Wooden Leg was the recipient of one loonie and a letter explaining how they could use that loonie to take a small action but make a big change. It's World Kindness Week and so once again I wanted to honour it in a secret mission way.

Amara was the first to knock on my cube.

"Were you responsible for some random kindness this morning?" she asked.

I smiled and worded my response carefully. "I can honestly say no, I was not responsible for random kindness this morning."

Truthfully, I had help, and truthfully, I was not the one in charge of distributing the unmarked envelopes.

There was not the same fanfare as there was last year with the cupcakes. I'm not really sure what people thought of the idea this time. A few approached me and returned their coins, asking me to make a donation to a charity for them. Amara promised me she would do her best to find a way to put the loonie to good use. In the end, it doesn't really matter what people decide to do with the extra buck--buy a coffee for themselves, buy one for a friend, flip it to a guy on the street, or save it for emergency bus fare--the point was that we always wish we had more so we could do more, but there is so much you can do even with just a dollar. I forgot my list at work, so I'll try to list from memory some ideas we came up with:

• Buy a song on iTunes for yourself or a friend
• Find a cause. Make a poster. Photocopy it 10 times. Post.
• Buy a reusable shopping bag. Keep plastic bags out of the landfills.
• Call two friends (pay phones in MB cost $.50 per local call)
• Build a school with Jackie Chan for a dollar

My heart shaped box

Hurricane winds today blew my recycling box away. Not the garbage can, which I can never fill, but the blue box. And now I am blue too.

In good company

My mom was telling me about this commercial she saw where a delusional young lady is serving a romantic dinner to a cardboard cut-out of race car driver Kasey Kahne. She said it made her laugh because it made her think of me. Thanks mom.



She was thinking of me because I have a life size cardboard cut-out of NASCAR driver Jeff Gordon in my living room. He keeps me company. I sometimes move him in front of the window so it won't look like I'm home alone. At Christmas time he wears a Santa hat. Currently he is sporting a watch of mine and a plastic lei. I should switch it for a scarf. There's a funny story to go with Jeff (naturally). But I'm going to save it for a few weeks.

On an unrelated note, I had a really good day today. I think at one point I was actually glowing. And while it feels very good to have a good day, nothing beats knowing you've made someone else's day a little happier.

This guy also makes me happy

Welcome to my fun house ;)