When I have a plan, an expertly laid, perfectly timed plan, and that plan goes horribly off the rails, I repeat these two words to myself until I calm down: Plot twist. Because I'm just bopping along my merry little way, trying to do good in the world by spreading love and good cheer and then the Universe rolls over, scratches itself and throws the proverbial monkey wrench into my day, just for an amusing right hook in my personal story, y'know, to shake the bag a little so I can stay sharp and the Grand Poobah of Life can have a good chuckle.
Saturday was a day full of plot twists.
It was October 5 which marked six months of relationship surival bliss with my dear sweet honey bunches of oats, Stephen the Beefcake. (I am still working on a good alias for him. And by good I mean ridiculously goofy, because we have that kind of love.) We were going to celebrate with a fancy, neither-one-of-us-has-to-wash-the-dishes dinner. For this half year special occasion I wanted to look half decent so I made an appointment for a manicure, pedicure and make up doing at a beauty college. I'd never been to a beauty school for a service before, but I've been to a massage school and was entirely satisfied so I expected the same results. I invited Lisa along to make it a full blown girly-girl afternoon.
The first twist of the day came when we arrived at the college and I was informed that I would not be getting my make up done.
"We tried calling you this morning, but I guess we only had your work number. The girl who was going to do your make up today couldn't make it in," said the otherwise pleasant receptionist. This was a bit of a heartbreaker for me because I had set my mind on trying a red lip look that day, to complement an outfit comprised of a turquoise blue halter-top blouse and a navy blue satin pencil skirt. I'd never done a bright red lip before and had no clue what shade would work for me so I was counting on some professional (or approximating professional) help that afternoon in a way that would draw Stephen's gaze right to my kisser the moment he walked in the door.
Plot twist, plot twist plot twist. I would be okay. I'd just zip over to the mall after the appointment and visit one of the many make up counters for a consult.
Three hours later...
My fingers and toes were painted a pretty, ballet slipper pink. I had about 40 minutes to solve my make up crisis. Lisa dropped me off at my house and I had zero minutes to put a single calorie into my grumbling belly which hadn't seen a morsel of food since brunch. I grabbed my Truck keys, booked it to the mall and settled upon Shoppers Drug Mart as my destination.
I walked up to the first person in the make up boutique who looked like she knew how to work liquid liner and asked if she could help me pick a red lipstick. She was wearing a Benefit Cosmetics pink t-shirt.
"We don't have anything like that, but this lady may be able to help you," Pink t-shirt lady gestured to the porcelain-skinned and raven haired beauty from Lise Watier.
Pretty Girl Lise Watier quickly grabbed a tube of rouge and sampled it for me on the back of her right hand. It looked exciting but not over-the-top. I was game.
"Could you try it on me?" I asked.
She introduced me to her chair and I took no time getting comfortable. I then launched into my sad, sad tale about the make up artist who did not show up to do my 6-month-aversary dinner face.
"Would you like me to put some foundation on you?" she asked.
Sitting there with my completely bare canvas visage, I am sure every sign of relief was visible as replied, "I would be incredibly grateful for anything you can do to this face."
That lovely Lise Watier artist proceeded to cover up my red where I didn't want it and add glow and sparkle where I did, along with the very dramatic and delicious red lips.
I knew the product wouldn't be cheap but I asked for the lipstick and liner.
"We have the liner, but we seem to be out of the lipstick," the artist informed me. Since Shoppers was having a 20x the points event for spending $50 or more I apologized and told her I would check another store for both pieces. I don't think she works on commission but I still felt bad walking away from her all dolled up but empty handed.
When I found the lipstick and liner at another store I finally checked the price. It was $21 for the lipstick and $18 for the liner. Oye. More painful than the steep price was the fact that I was still short of the $50 for the bonus points. I caved and ran around the store to increase my tally. I found a card for Stephen and a package of the Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte instant coffees. (PS--the lipstick was totally worth the splurge. It is creamy but light, not drying on my lips and tastes a little like cherry Chapstick)
I got home and had just enough time to put on my outfit and my coat before Stephen came in the door. I wanted my outfit to have a big dramatic reveal moment at the restaurant.
We had made reservations at Cafe Dario on Tuesday night after checking out their online menu. I'd been there before for lunch and enjoyed every morsel. Their dinner shtick is a prix fixe menu with a number of appetizer and main course options. That evening began my four days of dreaming of roasted lamb in a Kahlua chocolate sauce.
Stephen and I were both close to passing out from hunger when we arrived at the warm and homey, tiny restaurant. As we were shown our table the waitress placed that day's menu in the space where our plates would eventually land. Stephen got right to business with checking out the offerings as I was slipping off my coat, thus entirely missing my ta-da moment.The poor boy was so hungry that I doubt had I literally done the twist I would have succeeded in catching least a corner of his eye. He is a good man though and he did have many sweet words for me soon enough.
I scanned the menu in search of the dishes I had already tasted in my mind. I saw the word lamb but neither the word Kahlua nor chocolate were anywhere near it. It said peppercorn instead. I twisted my hands in my lap with distress inflamed by my raving hunger. I could hear the heavens chortling.
Once the plates started coming and my wine glass was filled with delicious, red liquid I started to relax. I could feel my face warming and could only imagine it was approximating the shade of my pretty mouth, but Stephen reached over to take hold of my hand and everything else just melted away.
Six months of Stephen. He's my favourite plot twist of 2013.
After dinner we weren't quite ready to call it a night so we decided to pay a visit to where we went on our first date--Joey's on Kenaston.
On March 23 I pulled into the box mall parking lot and parked right in front of David's Bridal. I was certain I heard the Universe rolling on the floor laughing that night. I remember the moment when I first saw Stephen, although I couldn't really tell you what he wore that night. I do remember thinking thank goodness, he's not a shorty. I will be able to wear heels with this guy.
We went into the lounge but couldn't find a seat until a sweet, grey-haired couple offered us their booth. Every time the 23rd of the month rolls around I think of them and say a silent prayer of gratitude.
At the end of our date he walked me to Truck and right there in front of David and all his white dresses he kissed me on the cheek and said he would call me, because he wanted to. Such a smoothy he is. A few weeks later I asked him if I could be his girlfriend. I didn't have any clever lines or a big dramatic speech. The Universe snored peacefully as our story took flight.
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