Gotta Wonder about that Woman

I got up early this morning because I wanted to be first in line at the lab for my blood work. As I pulled on my jeans I thought to myself, hmm, these are the same ones I was wearing the last time I passed out. I followed this thought with a shrug and went on to pick out my shoes. I was conscious that I had picked out wedge heels, not flats (the jeans are too long for flats) which could be risky in the event of a faint, but, feeling adventurous, I put them on anyway. They're red and always make me think of Wonder Woman, my favourite superhero. I channel her power through my feet.

I knew today that I was going to be facing another needle in my arm. This time, the needle would be in there longer as the lab tech would be taking numerous tubes of blood. I was nervous, but also told myself that I would be fine as this time the needle wasn't going to be a surprise and I could talk myself out of any anxiety.

When I arrived at the clinic I phoned my parents.

"Hi," I said. "I'm going in to get blood work done. In case anything happens, I'm at 123 Scurfield". My dad laughed and took note of the address. I went in, took a number and a seat. I flipped through a Men's Health magazine, reading about custom-made bikes and good-for-you carbs.

My number was called and I went in to the small room. I had considered telling the person that the last time I had a needle in my arm I passed out, but the guy wasn't very friendly and I was convinced I was invincible in my Wonder Woman shoes, so I said nothing and sat down.

The lab tech tied my left arm off with a rubber band. I looked away while he stuck the needle in. I heard a click and sensed each time he changed the tube out.

"Are you almost done?" I asked.

"Yeah, why, are you feeling faint?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said.

I breathed deeply and did my best to focus. The clinic had the radio piped in and Chad Kroeger was singing Hero.

I am so high. I can hear heaven

I am so high. I can hear heaven
Oh but heaven, no heaven don't hear me

That's the last thing I remember before waking up, on the floor. Again, confused out of my mind because I didn't recognize the guy asking me if I was okay. I mentally asked myself my name and where I was. I felt confident in my answers. This time, knowing better how to save myself, I layed right down and waited for the light-headedness to pass. I lifted my legs to help with the blood flow back to my head and heart. A guy walked up and asked the lab tech something about when his turn would be. I knew what I looked like--just a girl who can't take a little sight or loss of blood. The tech asked me if I'd like to go lay down on a bed. I said no.

I slowly sat up, then proceeded to low crouch, then fully upright. The lab tech handed me a bottle to go pee in. Perhaps he hadn't noticed that I'd already released most of my bladder on the floor, but I took the cup anyway, stepped over my puddle, walked out into the hall and then into the toilet to see what I could do for a sample.


"It happened again," I said to my mom on the phone from the privacy of the washroom.

"Oh no, really? Do you want us to come pick you up?"

"Yeah, and bring a towel," I said.

I had brought my pink zip up so I tied it around my waist and thought about that Always Maxi Pads commercial from the 90s where the girl lamented that she had to "leave the party with my sweater tied around my waist" because she had made the wrong choice in feminine protection. I'm seriously considering Depend undergarments for my flu shot appointment next winter. Is this what approaching 30 is all about? Going to the doctor on Thursday. Tests to follow. Yay.

***

Before today's episode I was thinking of blogging about work. I got to go to the legislature on Thursday night to support a bill that would officially recognize awareness week for my new pet cause. My department's medical director The Doc, gave a speech that I helped him with. It went very well and The Doc had good feedback from the ministers. I don't know what else to say about that except that it makes my heart sing.