eyes hood bee

Day one of the Writers Festival main stage events. I attended. I showed up an hour early because I thought the show started at 7:15 but actually it starts at eight. I killed time walking around The Forks and kicked myself for not being at the gym. I should be, I should be...

It was a drizzly, damp, foggy evening, which seemed like the perfect occasion for a latte, not to mention a good way to sip away some time. I talked myself out of it though, saving myself a good 200-300 calories and four dollars. At least I won that battle.

When it was closer to eight I went back to the venue and browsed the book table. I bumped into someone I used to work with at Good-Wooden Leg and got into a conversation with her about the writing thing. She's been doing some workshops. She asked me what I've been doing in pursuit of my calling. She was the second person to ask today.

I barely listened to the readings tonight. Mostly I was distracted by my guilt and inner nag. I should be, I should be, I should be.

I should be writing every day. I should be preparing pieces for submission. I should be editing my 50,000 word manuscript. I should be going to the gym five days a week, at least. I should be drinking more water. I should be eating less carbs. I should be dating. I should be doing laundry. I should be, I should be. Eyes hood be.

On the way home I heard a new song on the radio. These are the lyrics:

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

Just the Way You Are--Bruno Mars

Personally, I'm a much bigger fan of Billy Joel's take on the sentiment, however, the song was a good cure for the I Should Be ear worm in my head. I am who I am and that's good enough for me. I don't need to be anything else today. I am not wasting or losing time. I will get done all the things I want to do. I am focused right now on certain aspects of my life and when I have those things in order, I will move on to my next challenge. I don't need to change a thing or do more to be amazing. I am there already and that isn't a characteristic that is going away.

Dear Self, here is a song for you. Love always, Me.

Don't go changing, to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore
I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are

Don't go trying some new fashion
Don't change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care

I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are.

I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
What will it take till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you.

I said I love you and that's forever
And this I promise from the heart
I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are.

Just the Way You Are--Billy Joel