I don't think my heart is in the right place for this right now

I just couldn't help it. Here are some recent questions from eH guys and my responses. Karma is going to have my cupid ass in a sling.

eH dude #1 (under Employment he lists himself as an "Analyst")
Q. If you won the lotto, what is the least expensive thing you would buy? Why?
A. Essentially, what is the one thing that I want right now but am short of being able to attain without a windfall or just some plain old disciplined saving? Well, I kind of think Cottonelle Toilet Paper is overpriced, so maybe if I had the extra funds I'd upgrade from Purex to that.

Q. Sunsets or sunrises, which would you prefer? (Both can be an option, just explain)
A. What about neither? Just have it stay at high noon. Understanding of course that this may result in the return of pistol duels.

Q. If you had three wishes, what would they be?
A. Wish one, world peace. Wish two, some other viable employment for all those people employed by war, except for the evil people. Wish three, infinite wishes, followed by the wish that some other person get bestowed with the curse/responsibility of wishing.

eH dude #2
Q. Are you ready for SPRING??!!?
A. Yes.

Q. Describe an interest you have that you would truly hope your partner could share with you.
A. Other than spring? Because that covers a lot of the important stuff.

Q. What do you think are the three best traits you have to offer a partner?
A. Springs. I have at least three of them.