Sparkle and Shine

I got to the Good-Wooden Leg Dinner and Dance on Saturday night and double checked the sign on the door because I figured I had to be at the wrong party. The room was decorated with black, white and silver balloons and everyone in there appeared to be wearing black and/or white attire. I thought this was supposed to be Dancing Under the Stars, not the Black and White Ball. I was expecting some hot red salsa dresses and other colourful, fun frocks. The most colourful thing I saw there was a man's festive Christmas tie that was red with a big green tree on it. Trust Good-Wooden to take a holiday party to dulls ville. I myself was wearing The Dress which was silver sequins with splashes of colour. I could feel eyes on me. Making me feel like I stuck out even more was the fact that I was there alone and the rest of my gal pals hadn't arrived yet so I didn't even have anyone to stand around and chit chat with. To help matters I bought myself a drink and walked around the place trying to find someone wearing colour. I relaxed and smiled to myself when a girl walked by me and then turned to her friend and said, "I love that dress." My girlfriends eventually arrived, all dressed in black, of course. To be honest though, it seems that there isn't much out there right now.

The most colour I saw in the room was burgundy. Even the few younger folk there were in their little black dresses. Once again I walked into a Good-Wooden Leg crowd and did not fit in at all. I am getting used to being outstanding.

The event actually was disappointing. I'm glad I didn't fork any money over to attend. When I walked in, after first being overpowered by the black and white colour scheme, I was next thrown by the unmistakable scent of lilies that were the centerpieces at every table. My word, in a world where they ask you not to wear perfume or cologne in the office out of respect for those with scent sensitivity, who's brainwave was it to fill a room with those stinky things? Just throw some geraniums in there and you'd have me keeled over. Yuck.

The best part of the dinner was the vegetables. I could have eaten a plateful of the cauliflower, carrots and red potatoes. The chicken was dry and stuffed with blandness. Standard fare I suppose for these things. The service was quick and efficient though and dessert was tasty.

Seated at our table was one of the corporate lawyers. I remember being in a meeting with her with Head One and Head Two in January. The first thing I noticed about her that day was the awesome shoes she was wearing. She was blonde, fashionable, obviously successful and smart. I learned at the table that evening that she recently moved to a different team as she had been finding it difficult to work under her manager who was rather inflexible and didn't appreciate differing opinions or people who took initiative (Really? At Good-Wooden Leg?). If I was still at Good-Wooden Leg I think I would have called her up on Monday, asked her to join me for lunch and see if I could adopt her as a mentor. She is the woman I want to be. She apparently also has a sizable shoe collection.

After dinner the band came on. I remember the woman who was organizing the dinner and dance had gone to check out a few bands and was really excited about this one. Maybe they were good and it was just the songs they were playing that turned me off--a mix of 50s and 60s stuff. The girls in my party were equally unimpressed though. I don't remember whose idea it was but someone said "maybe we should go check out the other Christmas party down the hall" and I replied with an emphatic "no"






One of these things just doesn't belong here...

I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien

--The Police, Englishman in New York