And now she is gone

There were waffles, there were cookies, there was soup and there were tears. Yes, it was a busy final day at Good-Wooden Leg. It's good to be home.

When I got into work today there was a green bag on my desk. Inside was my very own Sea Monkeys kit. I am going to be the cool new girl who has Sea Monkeys at her desk. Michael has ensured that I will enter my new workplace with popularity points in the bank.

On Fridays in the cafeteria they serve Belgian waffles for breakfast. Michael and I are fans of them so every so often we would schedule breakfast meetings on Fridays. Today we had our last waffle meeting. I thought the wave of emotion would start crashing in around then, but it didn't. It still felt like any other Friday.

Last night I was busy baking a double batch of chocolate chip cookies to bring into the office. I though for sure it was going to take all night, especially since in between putting pans in the oven I was also sipping on some red wine. I managed to wrap up production in time to watch 90210 though.

This morning I put the cookies out around 10:30 and sent an email out to everyone to let them know the treats were there. One of my favourite memories of my office is when people would bring in snacks or baking either in celebration of something or just because.

Joanna wanted to be sure we did something today for lunch. A group of nine of us ended up going to the Spicy Noodle House for soup. I hadn't been there in a long time. There are some funny stories about my experiences at that place. Today the joke continued. I'd tell you about it but you had to be there. There was a lot of laughter today. I remember thinking that it felt like the series finale of a TV show. No big wrap up stories, just more of the same good times.

After lunch things really picked up. I had stuff on my desk to finish up, they wanted to do something to archive my emails and I had to meet again with Michael to formally pass on my project files. There was one person I was thinking about making a point of saying good bye to but I wasn't sure if I would be able to squeeze it in. Finally, at twenty to three I had some time to myself again so I called him up.

"Hey Eric, it's Jill."

"Hey Jill, so it's your last day right? Are you excited?"

"I'm getting there," I told him. "Are you going to be at your desk for the next bit?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, I'm coming over for a visit."

I first met Eric in a Time Management seminar I took last year. The seminar was awful. The instructor wasn't really offering any innovative tips or suggestions. Eric was one of the few guys in the class and the instructor picked him out as a suitable match for his daughter, whom he talked incessantly about.

I later met Eric again when I joined the Staff Club executive committee. He was a second V.P. and I was the new information coordinator. Eric is tall with dark hair and light eyes but he also has a very soft baby face that suggested to me he had to be younger, in his early to mid-twenties, I figured. I was shocked one day when I found out he was the same age as I am. We were talking about the music options for the annual company dinner and dance. Someone had suggested that the old fashioned big band sound just wasn't popular with the younger crowd.

"Well I'm 28 and I like the Ron Paley Band," Eric said. I was surprised, and impressed, but also happily seeing someone at the time so the information was of no importance to me. In fact, I was hoping Tonia might get to know him better as she had just joined the committee as well.

Eric liked to tease me about going to those meetings with the food and coffee. He was a numbers guy for the area that I provided communications support to. "What are you doing here? You're not part of this division," he'd say. I would fiercely defend myself but he would show no mercy.

He annoyed me sometimes too. My role on the committee was to send in announcements to the staff newsletter. Eric had to write a few things and send them to me for a final look over. I would make changes to the piece and send it back to him as a courtesy. He often did not like my edits and it bugged me that he couldn't just trust that I knew what I doing. I mean, while he was in bean counting school I was learning about sentence structures and effective ways to use communication to get people to take a desired action. Like really, who the hell did he think he was anyway, questioning me?

The more encounters I had with him the more puzzled I was by him. I couldn't tell sometimes if he was shy or if I was just completely irrelevant to him. There were other times though when he definitely seemed not shy and then I'd go, "what was that?" Once upon a time I would have found him an enticing challenge, but I just wasn't into playing boys as a sport anymore. I was done with the chasing thing. It never worked out for me anyway.

I wasn't sure about going to see him today. We had a Staff Club meeting yesterday that he missed though so it felt funny leaving without some kind of goodbye.

"It's sad to see you go," he said, at least twice, as I stood in his cube. "You're on Facebook eh?" He asked.

"Yeah, of course," I said.

"I'll look you up. We'll keep in touch."

I left him with two cookies and wished him well. We'll see what happens. I feel very Zen about the whole thing.

I hurried back to my desk because it was almost three and I was hoping to see Michael again before he went home for the day. I promised I would email him once I got settled and would keep him posted on the Sea Monkeys. We shook hands and I did not cry.

At that point I was pretty much free to go but I couldn't quite bring myself to walk out yet. I sat down and tried to wipe some of the dust off of the desk for Amara. Hardly any point as a new layer will be waiting for her when she assumes the desk again next spring.

Belinda, one of our French proofreaders came in to say goodbye. I did not cry.

Joanna came in to say good bye. I stood up and made like I was busy looking for something because at that point I could feel the tears coming on. I could hardly bring myself to look at her.

"Oh, we'll keep in touch," she said when she noticed me wiping my eyes.

"I know, I know," I said. And that was the thing, I knew this wasn't goodbye. I mean, I was friends with her outside of the building and I knew I would be keeping in touch with most of the people I was saying goodbye to. It wasn't the goodbye to the people that was getting to me. I guess it was saying good bye to a place where I had spent four years of my life that was suddenly hitting me. When I started there I was in the process of getting Truck, I then bought my house, I dated, I grew up. It's weird, I don't think I even cried when I moved out of my parents' house. Then again, I still go back to my parents' place all the time. I still have a place there. When you leave a job they fill your void. You don't belong there anymore. It's kind of like a break up. All you have left are the memories and the experiences.

I made a small tour to finish saying my goodbyes. I didn't even bother trying to hide my watery eyes. There's another Jill in the office, she just joined earlier in the year. It bugged me that I had to start defining myself as "Jill B". I'm just odd that way. "Well, you're the only Jill left in the office now," I said to her. "Do the name proud."

Not only did I not leave early today, I left late. When I was no longer able to say anymore goodbyes I packed up my bags and headed out. It was 3:45 when I exited the building for the last time and made my way to the bus stop. Goodbye Good-Wooden Leg. Thanks for everything.

I am not going to reflect anymore for today, nor am I going to think about what awaits me on Monday. It is the weekend. I have books to read, homework to do, wine to drink and people to see. Tune in next week for a new chapter in the Jill Story!