In a league of my own

I always look forward to the fifth of the month. I claim it is my lucky day. Today, being the fifth day of the fifth month, I was hoping for something extra special. It didn't rain men, money or shoes today but it wasn't too bad.

Irene picked me up and took me to Joeys for drinks. I told my mom I was going and that I planned to look fabulous. "What is there left to do, Jill, you are already there!" she told me. So many times a family member has said something sweet like that I would just brush it off. Of course they would say that, they have to, they're my family. Today I took the compliment at its full face value.

I put on my new pants and a cute top. I wore one of my favourite pairs of shoes. I did feel fabulous. As we walked in, I caught the eye of a cute guy, looked away, and looked back to find him still holding my gaze. Huh. I didn't know I could do that.

Later, I spot a guy I know from school. He's a server and apparently working tonight. I wave and he comes over to chat.

"What about that guy?" Irene asks after he leaves.

"Him? Naw, I've known him for years, he's always been friendly, but I think he has a girlfriend. And besides, I think he's out of my league."

"What? Out of your league? What are you talking about?"

I realize how awful that phrase sounds and I want to take it back. Who am I to say that to myself? Who makes these leagues anyway? Isn't it stupid? If you think you're beat, you've already lost. If you think you don't deserve to be there, you probably don't.

"Do you have his email? You should find an excuse to drop him a line," Irene tells me.

I shrug. In yoga today we focused on the idea of letting go of control and letting Fate take her course. I liked this idea. I am forever trying to take control of things, drive them in a new direction. I think it's time I sit back and wait for opportunity to come to me. The fighter in me is uneasy about this. She likes to see opportunity in everything and jump on it. However, I have learned that whenever I have lost something that causes me great grief, a much better fitting opportunity comes along quite quickly. Lately it's been about a one month turnaround time. Not that I'm looking at the calendar or anything. Patience and Fate and all that. Well here I am Fate. Sock it to me. I'm interested to see what you've got planned for me next.