I'm free!
I really didn't want to go to pilates tonight. I considered ducking out early, but I made myself endure every last minute and I survived. Tonight was my last class. After four years with the same instructor, I broke up with Pilates tonight. I waited until I had finished up my set of pre-paid classes and then I told my instructor not to put me on the schedule anymore.
The classes, although a good workout, were taxing on my budget (at $15 a pop, payable only in 10 class packages). And, I just wasn't enjoying them anymore. I used to go there and feel strong and beautiful. Lately the class has just made me feel frustrated and grumpy. In fact, I'd be grumpy all day leading up to the class just thinking about going.
Could the relationship have been saved? Maybe. The cost was a big factor. Perhaps if the instructor had done more requests for feedback about what I enjoyed, what I didn't enjoy and what my goals were, I would have felt more like staying. Once again, open communication is a key factor in the success of any relationship.
Will I miss it? Right now I can't imagine missing it, but maybe in time I will. Maybe in the fall I will find myself wanting to try it again. Right now I just need time away from Pilates. I know I won't be missed terribly. There are many people eager to take my spot in the schedule.
Instead of Pilates on Wednesday nights I think I will try going to the gym after work for some cardio and weights work. I never used to think I could be disciplined enough to go on my own, but I'm finding lately I'm doing better at keeping my commitments to exercise.
I would recommend Pilates to anyone looking to build both flexibility and strength. It's a great workout for people with back problems. I hold nothing against the exercise or the instructor. I just realize that it's time for me to do something different.
Is there anything you're doing in your life that you don't really enjoy? Why are you doing it? What holds you back from change? Who is suffering or losing out on a chance because you're not giving it up? Life is too short to spend being unhappily tied to something (or someone). Let go and feel the difference.
6 comments:
I like your last paragraph. It's good to reflect on things now and then and re-evaluate our routine. I'm probably going to quit one of my volleyball teams b/c I'm not enjoying it anymore. I need to go back to having a more open mind and trying new things again.
In this blog you say “Perhaps if the instructor had done more requests for feedback about what I enjoyed, what I didn't enjoy and what my goals were, I would have felt more like staying.” It’s like you blame the instructor partially for your unhappiness. How is she to know if you were unhappy in the class? I hate it when people don’t tell me (friend or co-worker) if there is something I can be doing better. I think honesty is the best. I think receiving feedback is crucial to any job (even if it’s not positive). What do you think?
@Anon--I think in this situation since I am a paying customer it is in my instructor's best interest to facilitate feedback. She should have a vested interest in my satisfaction and enjoyment with regards to the class. Certainly, I could have brought up my concerns to her and perhaps we could have worked something out that would have made the experience more enjoyable for me. I would even agree that yes, part of my unhappiness with the class was that I was not invited to give my feedback. I could have reacted to this unhappiness with talking to my instructor if I still wanted to continue in my pilates practice, but the motivation wasn't there anymore, so I decided to move on instead.
Speaking more generally about communiation in relationships, I think that work needs to be done to ensure that the two people feel comfortable speaking honestly to each other. There needs to be a sense of trust, understanding, and caring. I think that when the relationship is important, the motivation is there to do the work.
I'd also like to add, thanks for your feedback Anon ;)
Hi Jill,
I’m trying really hard to understand why you think you need to be invited to give feedback. Here is what I think (mans perspective).
I think your comment about open communication for a relationship to work is quite amusing. It's funny because you never communicated to the instructor how you really felt. I hope you’re not like this in your relationships with men. You can’t expect guys to know what's wrong without you telling them what's wrong. You need to directly tell someone what you’re feeling instead of dropping hints. Direct feedback doesn’t have to be negative; it can be constructive and helpful. You can’t expect people to cater to your every whim. When an instructor is teaching an entire class you can’t expect them to facilitate feedback from every person participating, that’s not their job. They are there to teach a class based on how they see fit. make sense?
How many people actually complain or give feedback if they aren't given an opportunity to do so? It is common (and good) business practice to request feedback through comment cards, surveys, interviews, etc. I don't recall very many classes that I've taken where feedback was not requested at the end of the session. The number of people has nothing to do with it (I was in a class of 4). Your business is your customer base. If you are not doing everything you can to find out what they like, what they don't like, you're limiting your success. This isn't just an issue I had with an instructor facilitating a class, this instructor is also the owner of the business. Anon, I think you are making comment on a situation you don't know all the facts on. I made a decision and I am fine with it.
Do you think every business is like a restaurant? Do they have comment cards for every business out there? Do they always ask for comments when you go and get your haircut? When someone goes to a small mechanic shop to get you car fixed do they have comment cards for that person to say how well they fixed the car? That person may not have the foggiest idea if they did a good job fixing the car, or if they fixed it at all. If you think people are going to ask you for comments on every service your provided you are sadly mistaken.
You've made a decision and your fine with it, why blame the instructor for your quitting. You just got tired and bored, and that's what she should have said instead making into something bigger.
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