Garbage to Gold

It was a rough day at work yesterday. Things are pretty intense right now on my team and that doesn't bring out the best in Head One. She has this way of making you feel so small and incompetent. I just sat there mostly nodding and agreeing in a quiet voice with her as she piled on the ridiculous requests that only serve to quieten her fears about looking unprepared. For the second time this month I left her office trembling and wondering how I was going to get through the next few hours, never mind the next week and a half until she leaves for vacation. My transition to Amara's job is a little less concrete now. It will happen, but the exact date of it is now up in the air. February 6, Amara's last day, was the hook where I was hanging my last nerve and piece of sanity. Now I'm just hanging.

I've been pretty used to fixing myself during and after a bad day. I have lots of words of encouragement for myself. I have a good inner dialogue going. When all else fails there is Oreo ice cream in the freezer and good friends and family just a phone call away. I also have a big, wonderful and cozy bed with warm covers to pull over my head. Yup, I know all the coping methods.

But lately I've had this extra bit of help too. My Special Man Friend gets more special, more manly and more friendly everyday. When I came back from my meeting with Head One I had a cheery e-mail from MSMF. I wrote back and let him know that the plans we had made for getting together that night would have to be delayed since I'd be working late. I also let him know that the day was just not going so well. He offered to save me from a cold bus ride and pick me up whenever I was done. He took me to the grocery store so I could pick up the ingredients I needed to prepare Thursday night's dinner for Lisa. He took me home and helped me make a mess in the kitchen as I attempted to make homemade linguini. Best of all, he helped me find the light inside of me again so I could face another day.

I talked to my mom on the phone today and told her how my day went from zero to finding a hero in twelve hours.

"Isn't it nice to have a friend," she said to me in a way that sounded to me like she was really holding back her own excitement about this new thing, perhaps afraid of jinxing it herself.

"Yeah, it really is."