Hello, Vacation

I am on vacation.

I was preparing all week at work for my two-week absence. I didn't get done all the things I had aimed to. With only 30 minutes left in the day, I was feeling pretty anxious trying to get together all my files to leave for Head Two to look after while I was gone. The work just kept coming in, I couldn't keep up. This was why I desperately needed a vacation. Frankly, I'm scared about what I might come back to.

I was late getting out and missed my bus home. Boo. But I did eventually get out of there. When I swung open the door to my house I smiled and said, "hello, Vacation."

There was work to do.

I threw some things into my overnight bag in preparation for my weekend with the girls at the family cottage. Then I swung over to my parents' place to pick up a cooler and some things from my mom's garden.

I got the rest of the food together and had about an hour to go before Lisa would arrive to pick me up. Lauren had invited me and Gus over for drinks to celebrate her last day at IG. It was our last day taking the bus together. I'm going to miss her.

I had started to relax once I left the office, but as Lisa and I hit the road to the lake, I could feel the anxiety levels creeping up again. I love spending time at the cottage, and I love having other people up there, but I was worried I was forgetting something, or that my keys wouldn't work, or that Judy and Tonia would get lost, or that there wouldn't be any toilet paper out there.

"We have food and vodka in the car," Lisa pointed out. "If worse comes to worse, we can live off of that."

The keys worked, Tonia and Judy found the place okay, but believe it or not, there was a toilet paper shortage. Luckily, the corner store only charges $.89 per roll.

That may have been my last trip up to the cottage. My grandma keeps talking about selling the place. It was supposed to go this year, and now it's supposed to go next spring (but my mom says she's waffling again). I tried to take it all in, just in case. So much has changed though.

For one thing, technology has moved in. When I went to turn the power on at the panel, it was too dark to see which breakers were on and which ones were off. There used to be this big, old flashlight by the door, but it wasn't there. So I improvised and grabbed my cell phone. Together with Lisa's we managed to figure out which switches needed flipping. (It wouldn't have been so dangerous if it were not for the fact that the hot water heaters are electrical and can't be turned on until they have been filled with water.)

Later, we walked to the corner store, which, to my surprise, has been totally rebuilt. There's a little corner now where people can sit with a cup of coffee and surf the Internet or check their e-mail on their laptops. Yeah, the corner store at the lake where I used to buy a Ring Pop for a quarter now has WiFi and a flat screen TV.

On Saturday we walked down to the beach. It was super wavy, but the water was high and there wasn't much beach left to walk on. Hopefully it's just a bad year.

I decided that I cannot speak freely about this girls weekend here. For one thing, some of the best moments were "you had to be there" funny. I also want to respect the fact that maybe my girlfriends who also happen to be my co-workers, would rather I didn't post all the details.

Here are the anonymous highlights:

• "You have to turn up the volume with a knob?"--watching DVD movies on the ancient 25" TV.
• Look, a heart-shaped potato chip!
• and in response to the find, "if it looked like Jesus you could sell it on eBay"
  
• "This is what happens when winemakers and engineers hang out together"
  
• "Grab the dangley bits"
• And after the discussion about "dangley bits", the line, "well what did you think we'd talk about on a girls weekend? Knitting?"
• Officer Mike--"and yes, I'm single"
• Watching Knocked Up while playing a drinking game where we had to drink every time someone swore:

"Hey, Doc Howard. Ben Stone calling. Guess what the f***’s up? Alison’s going into labor and you are not f***ing here. Now, where are you? You’re at a f***ing Bar Mitzvah in San Francisco, you motherf***ing piece of sh*t! And you know I’m going to have to do now? I’m going to have to kill you. I’m going to have to pop a cap in your ass. You’re dead! You’re Tupac! You are f***ing Biggie, you piece of sh*t! I hope you f***ing die or drop the f***ing chair and kill that f***ing kid! Hope your plane crashes. Peace, f***er!"

I nearly choked.

I heart ?