This is still A Jill Story and that means I call the shots

This morning, as always, I ate my breakfast while checking my mail, Facebook updates, and my reader feed. When I opened my e-mail and saw that "Lauren" had left a comment on my blog, I screamed. Some things made more sense, some things were more muddy. With no one around to talk me into rational thought, I freaked out.

I turned around and looked out my big picture window. I have a direct line of sight to Lauren's house and I suddenly felt very vulnerable. Was she looking out her window too, wondering if I had read the comment yet?

I realize that my blog is like a big picture window into my life, and that it leaves me vulnerable to any honest or crazy person who happens to stumble upon it. Still, I don't often close the blinds.

In my panicked state, I sat on the floor to eat my breakfast, avoiding the window. I just wanted to hide. I left my house with all the reluctance of a school kid who knew that she was going to get beat up for her lunch money. Sure, this may have seemed like fun and games to some, but I was officially weirded out.

I stood at the bus stop and waited for Lauren to approach me, smile, and give up the gig.

But she didn't. Instead, she introduced herself to me, officially. After I introduced myself, she asked how long I had been working at Good-Wooden and where I went to school. The wheels in my head started spinning. It wasn't making sense anymore that Lauren was a fan of my blog, and when she reported to Gus on the bus what she had learned, I was almost certain it wasn't she who had left the comment. It just wasn't adding up.

I investigated the comment a bit more when I got to work and came to a conclusion that Vince had posted it. I knew I would laugh later, but I was still feeling sore about the whole thing. There was also an old, deep wound that was oozing again.

Back when I was in first year, someone hacked into my Hotmail account, changed my password, and sent me cryptic messages to my alternate address. It was just plain annoying at first, until Mr. X, as the culprit referred to himself, started to say things he could only know if he was a close, personal friend of mine. The details were definitely not in any of my messages he could read. I suspected I was not the victim merely of a random attack.

It really upset me that a supposed friend of mine thought this was all amusing. I couldn't figure out who would do this, or how. I accused my best friend of doing it, or at least of knowing the identity of Mr. X. He denied it, and I eventually believed him. I never found out who Mr. X really was, but some how he found out I was getting pretty upset, and he had the heart to give me my e-mail back and leave me alone.

I feel terrible that I once again accused someone I love of doing something deceitful to me. I am certain now that it was not Vince. Thankfully, my friend is understanding and I think he forgives me.

I am, for the most part, enjoying this saga. I look forward each morning to letting the plot develop and I still find it amusing that Lauren and Gus are carrying on like I have no idea. It's all very sweet, flattering, and amazing. As long as the intentions are pure and fair, I am game. I just want to remind all the actors in this play that I'm still the director, but if I ever want to call cut, it has to stop.