Shuffle repeat

Well all have our vices. We deal with stress and loneliness in different ways. Some people drink. Me, I do music.

I was not having the greatest morning yesterday. It was a work thing. I was frustrated. Usually at lunch I go down to the cafeteria with the same group of people but that afternoon I just wanted to get out and find something to take the edge off.

It was sunny and the cold was tolerable. I walked down Osborne over the bridge, past the liquormart, past the Starbucks and right into Music Traders.

I was hoping they'd be playing some angry rock medley to match my mood. But no. It was folk music. Blech.

I browsed around and finally found something that looked appealing. Two somethings actually. I got Timberland's Shock Value, which was kind of odd because it's not my typical taste but there was some stuff on there that appealed to me. I had always meant to pick up the Hinder disc--I really do love that generic radio friendly rock stuff (is it the merlot of music?)--and as soon as I spotted it I knew it was what I was in the mood for.

I think you can do much better than me
After all the lies that I made you believe

--Hinder, Better Than Me

I don't think I was lied to. I think I believed there was more to it all and then eventually I saw things for what they really were. And no, I'm not just talking about some dumb guy. The point is, I can do better, and sticking around with something, someone, some place that breaks my spirit does nobody any favours. Still, a part of me keeps hoping things will suddenly change. That never works.

Be the change you want to see in the world

--Mahatma Gandhi

I'm tryin' man. Something's gotta give sometime.