I joke with my friends that I bought Truck to make up for the lack of a special guy in my life. For those who find that more plausible than amusing, my defense is that Truck is just part of my master plan that I've had for years: Job-->Truck-->Man-->Canoe. A few months ago I considered switching the order of Man and Canoe, but I realised (and hated to admit) that canoeing is really a two person activity. I could not realistically see myself carrying a canoe and paddle all by myself down to the water. I will however, accept a man who comes with a canoe.
As I said, I love Truck and I'm pretty sure Truck loves me. We both enjoy the same music and Truck doesn't mind when I sing along. Truck makes me happy; I love going places with him and he always lets me pick the destination. Truck is also good to my family. Even my dad likes Truck. My sister sometimes goes out with Truck, but she likes to tease me that she shows Truck a better time than I do. That may be so, but Truck always comes back home to me. I'm not going to mince words about Truck's physical attributes--he's hot, even guys say so. He's also rugged and sporty, yet soft where it counts. Every time I see him in the driveway I fall in love with him all over again. I can't believe how lucky I am to have found Truck.
In the end, if I can't have that beautiful apartment with the river view and the hardwood floors, I'm okay with that. It's a sacrifice I have to make in order to stay with Truck. Besides, I know Truck can take me places with way more amazing views.
I find it kind of hard to believe right now that I could one day find a Man who I will love as much--I know how ridiculous that sounds. But really, with Truck I got to custom order the colour, the upholstery, the wheels and everything else about him. I can't custom order a guy and that sucks. Hmm, let's do a specs sheet on my custom order Mr. Right.
- Model: Mr. Goodwrench ( cuz he knows about cars)
- Year: 1979 (I decided long ago that 27 is the perfect age. Guys younger than that are useless to me.)
- Colour: I have been informed that he will have brown hair and eyes. This should work, but I have a preference for green eyes and black hair.
- Features: Musically inclined, preferably in a band. Above average skills in the kitchen. Well mannered. Ambitious. Adventurous. Does not wear baseball cap and jeans anywhere other than to sporting events. Can hold his own in intelligent conversations about things other than TV, the latest gaming system, or how drunk he got last weekend. Respects my family. Must love dogs. Kind. Travels well.
- Automatic/Standard: Automatic--I have no interest in directing him into the next gear.
- Security Features: Honest. Trustworthy. Self-Assured. Relaxed. Patient.
- Wheels: Something other than a skateboard please.
- Warranty: 5 years with optional upgrade to lifetime.
5 comments:
"Then I started thinking about things I don't spend money on, like... a boyfriend"
I think a boyfriend actually reduces your overall costs :p
And I'm surprised that Mr. Goodwrench doesn't come with heated seats or air conditioning. I would have thought that those two were mandatory.
I hope however, that he doesn't have a spare tire and that you resist the urge to put one in :p
Maybe I should look at relationships as more of the investment kind of expense. After all the dinners, movies, gifts for anniversaries and Valentine's Day, in addition to the extra birthday and Christmas present to buy, it works out nicely if you eventually share the cost of a mortgage together.
I also think about all the girls I know who get their guys the default gift of the latest Playstation. What happens when these people break up? The girl comforts herself surrounded by plush animals and cold jewellery, while the guy has his friends over for pizza and a Final Fantasy tournament. Mr. Brown Hair Brown Eyes Goodwrench Man, I will NOT buy you a gaming system, ever.
Yeah I know, it's not about the gifts, and the gifts aren't always material and dull. My observations though have been that couples get way too caught up in spending what seems like a lot of money on "things" for each other to demonstrate their love. While I'm a creative gifter, who's to say whether or not I too eventually will fall into the boring routine.
"And I'm surprised that Mr. Goodwrench doesn't come with heated seats or air conditioning. I would have thought that those two were mandatory."
I am trying to figure out what would be attractive about a man with a heated seat or air conditioning. I am sure the metaphor will come to me eventually. All I can come up with so far is hot ass?
Ahem. Clementine. AHEM.
Anonymous, hah. I know that is you, Abby, and his name IS NOT CLEMENTINE!(But if you ever get a wedding invite to Jill and Clem's nuptuals, I give you permission to call me and laugh for 20 minutes)
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