Bad Good Karma

Someone broke my heart this weekend. I was devastated. I didn't show it much because I was trying to keep up a good face for Thanksgiving, plus I was looking forward to my publicity stunt in today's paper. But I may as well tell you the whole crazy story now and call on you to support me.

It was Vince.

Vince and I chat almost everyday. I don't know how we always find something new to say, but we try to help each other out with stuff the best we can from over 1500 km apart. On Saturday night things were going along great. I was talking to him about buying a laptop, he was complaining about the work he had to do. Then he announces, "That's it, I am not talking to you any more until you move out and get your laptop OR until I finish my work." It would seem that the latter option would be realised first, except that Vince is a terrible procrastinator, which was the reason he needed to set up this ultimatum in the first place. Truly, I was not heart-broken by this deal. I know he has boring stuff to get done. He will finish it eventually and then things will go back to normal.

Sometime after setting this deal though I had a moment of regrettable weakness. Vince belongs to a bunch of these networking type sites where you post a profile and people can read about you and contact you. I decided to check out one that he had mentioned and build my profile. Soon enough, someone finds me interesting and sends me a note. I check them out. They seem quite normal and interesting so I write back. Then they want to chat. I suddenly put on my Pollyanna face and say "okay!" The only way we can do this though is through gtalk. (Later I will realize just how dumb of a move this was.) I talk to them a bit. They are very pleasant and full of nice things to say about me. The conversation is kind of dull because there is no laughing. I like to laugh with my friends. Usually this involves me telling them about something dumb I did and I could tell that this person, who seemed to think I was something very wonderful, would not be able to laugh with me about say, my home-wrecker stories or the time that I used the microwave to make egg bombs (that one still makes me laugh).

They find me online last night while I am writing my Media Blitz post. I am polite and ask how they are doing. "I'm doing fine, even better now," they say.

"Oh, why is that?" I ask.

"Because you're here!"

Oh sweet saccharine, when did I jump onto an episode of Barney? I didn't think it was possible to find someone who could out cheer/nice me. I am Little Miss Sunshine, Cheer Bear and Rainbow Brite all rolled into one. I told them I was working on something and couldn't really talk. They left.

This morning I go online at 6:30 am before heading to work. I wanted to find the link to my news story and email it to myself. As soon as I log on to my email I see that they are online too. I quickly change my status to "Busy". No match for this Ray of Light! They message me anyway!

"Good Morning!" They say. Honestly, there is not enough Starbucks on this planet to make me cheery enough for a friendly conversation with a near stranger at 6:30 am. I'm not even especially polite to my own father at that time of the morning when we're sitting at the breakfast table together. Aside from that, I simply have no time, but this person tells me "hang on a second, brb, I have to go get my tea." Hang on to yourself buddy, I'm outta here.

I titled this post Bad Good Karma. You know how they say Karma comes back to you 10 fold? I think I'm feeling that now. I know I'm a cheery and chatty person. I usually have something nice to say about everyone too. Tell me now though, am I this annoying? How on Earth do you guys put up with me? I swear, I'll cut it out right now. I sincerely apologize for annoying anyone with my unsolicted rays of sunshine. If I ever start to annoy you, please just tell me to go away and threaten to tell my new friend that I'm free.

I feel pretty bad and ungrateful about the whole thing but surely there are a million other people who would actually appreciate this person's attention. All I keep thinking is that I just got a taste of my very own sickly sweet medicine. Excuse me while I go load up now on some bitterness and sarcasm.

(PS--I'm not really mad at Vince so don't send him any hate mail. Vince, please don't highjack my comments section!)